I am Tired
For 50 years now my life has been a series of compromises. From being a young man full idealism and can do attitude in being a genuine contributor to the needs of civil society, I am today reduced to one who has through a thousand cuts became a cynical middle aged person.
Where the need was to eliminate inefficiency of social delivery I said “it is like this only” , where the need was to eliminate corruption I said “ it is like this only”, where there was a display of utter callousness I said “it is like this only” where there was a complete collapse in societal order I said “it is like this only”. I not only acquiesced the failure of the system but participated in the decay by being a bystander most times and being an active collaborator where it seemed easier to participate than suffer the consequences.
I am to blame.
If the politician wanted to use caste, religion, and language as tools and weapons in his armoury I stood by and even nudged him when it suited me. When he corrupted the system for personal pecuniary gains I stood by and even went with the flow when it suited me .When he subverted the social, developmental, judicial, bureaucratic systems I stood by and looked the other way for that was the easier path to travel.I justified my action or inaction by saying “I am after all only a single individual who cannot fight the system”. I justified it by saying ‘I would be a fool to fight a system that would crush me with its might’. I let the river of pristine social order be polluted by ineptitude, avarice and downright malice and wallowed in its stench.
I waited just too long. For today this river is not just a cesspool of stench but bloodied and crimson . Bloodied with sacrifice from the innocent and those who made a commitment to protect the innocent with their lives. We called on their sacrifice because we allowed the men in power to believe that they are unaccountable and even institutions that existed to protect us from attacks on our nation can be subverted for self aggrandisement.
Enough is enough.
The television is a invasive medium. The 3 days that the country was attacked and its mettle tested, the television brought home the fact that while Nero fiddled there was valour out there. Ordinary people who went back to save a life at the cost to their own, a police force that offered itself as fodder willingly, knowing that their masters let them get by with 303’s while they clamoured and got their bullet proof luxury cars, commandos who assured us that they think little of their lives so ours could be saved. The citizen is feeling as neutered as I am. I am not alone. More importantly the sense of anger is out in the open. Enough to wake me up. Enough to get me to start thinking. Enough to start believing. Believing that I could no more just let things be as they are. Believing that if there is to be a personal redemption then I had to do more than be a passive participant, meekly accepting that there is nothing I could do to ensure that civil society lives up to its obligations.
I have to Act.
I am drawing the line. It is a line in sand. But defend it I will. Hopefully it is a line that I can move from sand to clay and then on to firmer ground. I ask that the politician be accountable . Accountable not to me but the ones whose valour is tested because their masters are busy feathering their nests. There was a derisiveness earlier when I thought of magnitude of my thoughts. But no more. If the sea is to be filled drop by drop then let the first ones be mine. It may end being an endeavour of failure but am now convinced that not starting down that road till today has been my biggest failure. Till the system finds the answer to one basic need. I do not ask that my belly be full. I do not ask that my health be in fine fettle. I do not ask that I be able read the paper that lies in front of me. I do not even ask that there be a sheet over my head to protect me from the elements. But surely my anger boils over when a stranger walks into the hearth of my home and with impunity rents it asunder. Not because he had the audacity to enter through the front door, but those who should have protected were playing the fiddle. And continued to play while the country burned. And so I will act.I have the power
It is funny when I realise that the power to demand was with me but I never chose to use it. I did not quite understand that little dot on my left index finger had magical powers. Much like a person who throws away a rock not knowing it would make the perfect diamond when you set a craftsman to the task. I now know that I have the rock in my hand. Need to find the craftsperson . Yes, therein lies the rub. I know that the political creature will fight dirty just to stay in the chair. So I will use his unbridled hunger to ensure that he stays focussed on saving his chair.I have a plan
Desperate times call for radical action. The terrorist has shown that we have such a soft underbelly that we are ready to keel over at the slightest touch. And unless we stay steadfast in our resolve to clean up our stables, push us he will. Let us put those who rule us on notice. That unless they stay focussed on resolving this basic need of protecting the country they are not needed. Simple naive thoughts? Would I have thought so just a few days ago? I think it stands a sliver of a chance when the images of an angry nation float in front of me night and day with or without the television on. Suggest that the parliament pass a resolution that every member of the parliament forfeit the right to be a member for life if during their tenure there is another terror attack in our country. Naive thought, certainly. Will not hold up legal scrutiny. Surely it can be drafted to address that. Is it not blatantly unfair to thinking ones in the parliament. Would not other interested forces have an incentive to create such a situation. Yes to all of these and many more such forceful counter arguments. The time to be logical is long past. We have been victims of this sane logic that has brought us to the precipice. This naivety has the merit of ensuring that every parliamentarian has a single minded focus on the task. For survival is at stake. And let me assure you that when this band of cunning works together then “Impossible becomes possible.”Why would the august parliamentarians pass a suicidal law? This is the bigger challenge. I am taking a pledge that I will not vote anyone who opposes a bill that suggests this. The problem I have is that this means nothing. My vote means nothing. Yes if I could get a few more to think with the same naiveté
then we could band up. Will it become a sea? I don’t know. I have to expose myself to ridicule to test this out. For not trying is a greater sin.
I urge you to join me in taking this pledge. Be foolhardy this one time. These are desperate times. And please go out and expose yourselves to ridicule by asking your friends to join you in taking the pledge. We may surprise ourselves.
There may be more than a few naive ones out there, enough to make a possible difference.
I am tired. I have to believe that this will work. For the alternative is to keel over.
Do you want to do so too? Please take the Pledge below.
